Developing Confidence
Everyone struggles with confidence at one time or another. None of us feel totally confident in every decision we make. When I try something new or am facing the unknown, my confidence level can be low at best.
It can be frustrating to fight to be confident, but there’s good news…
Confidence isn’t just an inborn strength some of us have in spades, it’s a skill that can be developed and sharpened. How?
Recognizing when an opportunity to build confidence presents itself.
Staying focused and seeing things through, even if it’s not perfect.
Recognizing small victories along the way, and using that positivity to further bolster your confidence.
Confidence is hard-won. But once we have it, it becomes easier to develop over time. I learned this first hand at one of my first jobs after graduation.
When I was a Public Accountant, I worked closely with one of the Partners in the firm. I was familiar with the accounts of several of his clients, and he was a great mentor to me when it came to industry knowledge. He would regularly do presentations to the Board of Directors of the companies we were auditing, which I helped him draft.
One of those presentations happened to be scheduled for a day when the Partner came down with the flu. Another Partner in the firm called me into his office. He asked me to give him a rundown on the client and the audit results being presented to the Board so that he could go do the presentation that night.
A few hours later he called me back into his office to tell me that he had a family emergency and would not be able to go.
That’s when he looked me in the eye and said, “I want you to do it.”
Gulp! Me?
Didn’t he know I was a staff accountant only a year out of college? I had never even seen an audit results presentation, much less done one myself. I was terrified.
But there was no time to find another option. I had to do it.
My mind was racing non-stop on the two-hour drive to the meeting: going over every detail, trying to anticipate every question with no clue what to expect. On that drive, I went from I was chosen to represent the firm...that means I can do this! to I have no idea what I’m doing...this will be a disaster.
When I stepped into the Boardroom, they sat me at the head of the table. I was surrounded by professionals and executives 30-40 years older than me.
I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the meeting, but it had to be done.
So, I took a deep breath, had a drink of water, sat up straight, and began.
It wasn’t perfect: my voice cracked and my palms were sweaty.
But I answered all their questions, and communicated the critical parts of the content.
I had done it!
Pushing through that scary situation and staying focused on the goal built my confidence. The next time I was called in to do a presentation, my confidence started higher and it continued to grow with each success (no matter how small).
What did my presentation to the Board teach me about confidence?
You have to start somewhere, and do your best to keep moving forward. It takes practice.
If something doesn’t work out and your confidence takes a hit, adjust your approach the next time to avoid whatever harms your confidence.
Keep in mind the saying is “It is always awkward before it’s elegant.” When we first try something it is bound to feel a little awkward. But when you keep doing it and don’t give up it will become more natural and elegant.
You can expedite confidence-building by seeking (and taking) many opportunities to develop it.
If you're not sure where to start, ask your manager, your mentor, your career coach, or another professional you trust for suggestions and feedback.
Seek to understand why you lack confidence and make a plan to overcome those obstacles with a trusted mentor or your career coach.
Done is better than perfect. No one is perfect. So, don’t get caught in the “I have to do this perfectly in order for it to be a success”. Celebrate your wins along the way.
As the popular slogan goes: just do it!
The next time you catch the self-doubt creeping in, stop the negativity in its tracks. Bring your mind back to what you want to achieve, and plan on some practical ways to do so. If you keep at it and ask for help when you need it, confidence will definitely be within your reach. And it will only grow the more you work at it.
Confidence is one of the 5 core C's that are essential to being a great leader. Want to know what the others are? Download a free copy of the 5 Essentials to Being a Great Leader now.